Times, they are a changin’.

Posted on April 27, 2008
Filed Under Daily Update | 5 Comments

I graduate in exactly one week. On May 4, 2008 I step off the stage a college graduate, “ready” to dive head first into the real world. I will leave UF and start my life, living with Chad, freelancing, looking for a job.

All at the beginning of one of the most financially troubling times in recent history, with credit card debt, student loans, high gas and food prices, no health insurance and two rent payments, one in Gainesville and one in Jacksonville.

Of course that’s the cloud to the silver lining. I have been excited to graduate my whole life — no more school, no more Gainesville! — it’s amazing, really. And well worth the financial burden. I just hope that I am able to find a real job, considering the current state of the world.

In other, happier news, our Advertising campaigns group won against six other groups and the client will actualy be using billboards I designed. The billboards will be located at both main interstate entrances to Florida — on I-75 and I-95. It’s a tremendous honor and I’m very excited to see them in use! I’m also relieved and happy the project is over, as it is the main reason I have had so little time or energy to do much else over the past four months.

Anyhow, the real reason I wished to actually write today was to inform you all to be on the lookout for a new blog. Since Chad and I have both fallen off the blogging bandwagon, as we find we have little to really talk about concerning our personal lives (because we have each other), I suggested we perhaps join forces to blog on one site.

Instead of just a general blog, I was thinking to instead focus on the new things we will have to deal with in the coming months — living together, finding a place to live, adjusting to life together in Jacksonville, planning where we will eventually move and the like.

I think it will be a breath of fresh air for both of us, to put our current blogs to rest and start on something new together. It really fits my current mentality — lots of things in my life will change in just a week or two, and my online presence needs to change, as well.

I have to do some thinking in terms of a name… Chad suggested we just call it Chark, which is the combination of our names… but I’m not sure i’m feeling it. Any suggestions?

Okay, I’m out. It’s my last weekend in Gainesville; I have to make the most of it!

Tweet, Tweet Nothings

Posted on March 11, 2008
Filed Under Daily Update | 6 Comments

Late night introspectiveness. It has been a LONG time.

I’m not sure why, exactly, but something about this evening lent itself to me opening up my blog for the first time in months. It truly is a dying art, this personal web blog business. It’s like the snail-mail of the web — no one cares enough to actually read and explore any more, everything is RSS-fed, Twittered, Tumblred and YouTubed. Just the fact that those can all be considered verbs is testament enough to the acceleration of web trends.

More and more I think of personal blogging as unnecessary. But then nights like this come along. Nights when I’m hyped on coffee, sitting here alone in the dark (Well, Chad’s asleep; he’s been very sick the past few days) getting nothing really accomplished, that I realize there are still a lot of things that can’t be said elsewhere. Rather, they can be said, but it’s increasingly more impossible to find the means to do it.
While using Twitter with a bunch of new “friends” this evening, I came to the realization that its easier and easier to feel connected to a LOT of people — guys from Montreal, Dallas, San Francisco, Seattle, New York, Austin, Vancouver — all sharing thoughts in the form of Tweets. It’s amazing, when you think about it, how World Wide it really is.
But then, like I said, I realized, although you’re seemingly connected to all these people, you’re not REALLY connected to any one of them. I can’t remember the last time I had a truly engrossing conversation (on the phone or online, for that matter) with anyone. I can’t remember the last time I met someone for coffee just to chat. I can’t remember the last series of extended emails or blog comments, and it’s obviously been forever since I’ve contributed to my own presence online.
I think what we’re all forgetting is that, even though we’re all Twittering and Tumblring all day long, that ultimately we are sitting, physically alone, on our computers. Or sitting staring at our phones. Or iPod Touches. Or Whatever.

It’s amazing and scary, all at the same time. If only it easily translated to, “meet me for lunch” (and it could). But unless you’re lucky enough to have Twitter and Blogging buddies around the corner, that’s a dreamworld. Facebook and Myspace are no better — just tonight I sifted through dozens of photos from “friends” whom I haven’t seen or heard from in months. Through no fault of theirs or my own — or perhaps a combination, I dunno.

Any way, it’s just interesting when you become aware of the significance of the activities we partake in. It’s nothing while it’s going on, but stop for a second and ask yourself what that 5 second Tweet REALLY amounts to. Is it 5 seconds you could have been talking to a friend on the phone? Spending with a lover or loved one?

Or is it just a novel and completely convenient way to connect with new people? For Inspiration and excitement to enliven an otherwise boring work day or evening?

Either way, it’s definitely a changing world… and I think this post makes it obvious that I’m not sure where I fit in anymore. It truly isn’t as easy as it was when Blogger wasn’t owned by Google and it was the only way to publish your thoughts on the Web.

I’m out, who knows for how long, but I’m sure the twittering will remain active… whether that’s good or bad, I have yet to decide.

(p.s. The title is from this song… check it out, Róisín is the shit.)

Massive Crush!

Posted on December 21, 2007
Filed Under Miscellany, Homosexuality | 3 Comments

Josh Oynsko

So yeah, “I’m totally crushing!” (thank you Teen Girl Squad)….and this time he’s no celebrity! Well, perhaps he is in some circles.

Joshua Oynsko… compassionate, adorable, and a total vegan tree-hugging hippy without the dreads and messy clothes. Check him out in this video.

A-dore-eeb-lay! And he might even make me a little green-ling…maybe someday when I can afford it.

(Check out his company… and ignore the god-awful ALL Flash based website.)

Found via this Domino magazine article.

He’s Back?? Whaaaa?

Posted on December 12, 2007
Filed Under Daily Update | 3 Comments

I should really start blogging again.

Lots has happened since you last heard from me:

…

…

Er, Maybe I lied. I thought lots happened. But now I’m drawing a blank. I’m sure things happened, but since I didn’t blog about them, I’ve gone and forgotten! Sad how that happens! :)

No really. I am not bad. Today was a good day. Yesterday wasn’t, but today was.

My life has been like that lately — very good days, very bad days, and no real reason as to why they turn out that way. Talking to Chad helps; he was in Chicago this past weekend and I had a hard time. Really beat myself up over how much I’ve grown accustomed to having him around, even if by phone. It was a harsh realization, knowing I’ve given up so much independence being in a relationship. But then again, it is a really cool realization too… I’m so damn in love!

But a few stars have aligned in order to get me back here: School ended, I’ve been reading more gay blogs again, and a run in at UC (local bar) on Saturday and an IM yesterday made me realize that people are still out there reading … I mean, wanting to read… my blog.

So I really should get back on it. And like I said, I’m totally forgetting my life as it happens. I think I have short term memory loss. Honestly.

Well, more later.. just wanted to get the ball rolling again. Yay!


numbers

Posted on October 10, 2007
Filed Under Daily Update | 3 Comments

198 unread Email Messages

157 unread Google Reader Articles/Posts

213 unread Flickr Messages

9 unanswered Facebook Friend Requests

28 days since my last post

2 more months left in this semester

0 comments on my last post

3 number of hours ago I should have gone to bed

4 days last week I stayed up until 3am doing work/studying

12 hours I have to spend on campus tomorrow

0 minutes spent doing schoolwork/freelancework today

all add up to me being extremely busy and somewhat behind, and feeling very out-of-touch with my life, desires and hobbies.

cest la vie, at least for now.


My return key broke.

Posted on September 12, 2007
Filed Under Daily Update | Leave a Comment

Not really. I just actually wanted to blog (without paragraphs); what the hell,I know. School started. I’m already ready to graduate, surprise surprise. I have some really awesome things going on this semester — namely my freelance job (yay money!) and a graphic design class I’m in called MINT. It’s a mock design studio in the fine arts department, and it’s a lot like a second job, but I think it will be rewarding. Plus, the people are awesome. I’ve already made some new friends, and shared a few nice dinners (complete with wine and good conversation). It’s just so refreshing to find people that have similar interests, who don’t think fonts are uninteresting or unimportant, and who care about the same things you do. GD people are WAY freaking cooler than the people in advertising (for the most part; I do have my close friends, but they are few and far between). Speaking of which, my advertising classes suck. I mean.. SUCK. Media Planning is boring, Law of Mass Communications is okay but dry, and my advanced graphics class is like design Nazism– do it until it’s perfect (in her eyes), whether it takes you 15 tries or not. And by perfect I mean perfect — answer one thing wrong on a quiz? Do it over. Mis-sketch something on a skills test? Do it over. It’s SO time consuming and frustrating. So completely opposite of design across campus in the fine arts building. Outside school, Gainesville still sucks, too. Everything is so crowded, it’s hard to enjoy anything. Every time I pass by TCBY there is a line of sorority girls out the door. Try going to Chipotle at lunch and you’ll have to wait 20 minutes in line. Forget Starbucks, or any on-campus eatery. Forget finding things you need at Target, Office Max or Wal-Mart. Forget parking. Gainesville is so unlike anywhere else — it’s like being trapped in a place with half the amount of resources needed to sustain the thousands of people who are trapped with you. And unlike other cities, those thousands of people are the same age and have the same/ similar interests, tastes and desires. So forget doing most everything, because chances are someone else has already beat you to it. But time here is numbered, thank god. Then I can move back in with Chad, if all goes well, which it has been; I think Chad and I are doing a lot better with the distance than we used to. I still miss him, and we’ve still gotten in a few fights, but we both have our time consuming distractions. The hardest part is balancing work and play when we do get to spend time together. The weekends come and I start feeling very behind. It doesn’t help that football season is in full gear, and if you don’t go to the games you’re completely in the dark not only with what’s going on but also socially. The games just take so much time! But anyway, I felt like writing a somewhat lighthearted post, hence the run-on paragraph. There was a very serious event that happened Saturday, but Chad was far more eloquent on the subject than my writing can currently allow. I’m really just not sure how I feel about that subject. Anyway, Nazi design is tomorrow at 8:30, so I better be going. I have a long day ahead of me, which I’m definitely going to need some sleep to handle. Good night!

Shit everywhere.

Posted on August 24, 2007
Filed Under Rants | 3 Comments

Unpacking is driving me nuts. I’ve been trying to remain positive about my new digs — and I am. But I just would rather leave all this shit in boxes, or throw it away entirely.

I can’t stand any of my stuff anymore. I feel like I’ve been moving the same shit around since high school. Stupid books. Raggy clothes. Mediocre decor.

But I can’t afford to simply throw away my entire wardrobe, or buy entirely new bedroom decorations (though I’ve done a lot of that, and I’m still not pleased). I know it “takes time” to settle in and define your space; I know I’m in college and I shouldn’t have an absolutely amazing stock of clothes; I know I’m just 21 and have yet to earn enough money to create the style I want for me and my bedroom.

But damnit, do I seriously have to live with this shit for that much longer?! I honestly don’t know what to do with myself… between holding on to stacks of past semesters’ work, keeping the same shirts I don’t wear anymore (and plenty I unfortunately still have to wear), moving stacks of books I haven’t yet read and magazines that I don’t necessarily want to throw away…

I’m a minamalist wannabe, but a total fucking pack rat.

So… do I take the advice my mom sent me a while back? Or do I just hang tight for another year until I join the ranks in the “real world” and just start then?

I can’t help but feel pretty damned impatient; I can tell you that.

Spurts

Posted on August 23, 2007
Filed Under Daily Update | 1 Comment

Chad blogged, I commented.

And I start school tomorrow. Yikes. Not ready for that.

The new apartment is coming along, though it really has yet to feel like home. But soon it will.

“Yay” for:

Alright. I’m going to bed. School tomorrow. Wow. It’s been a while since I’ve said that. Senior year, here I come. I’m ready.

Byebyeblog, at least for a little while.

Posted on August 17, 2007
Filed Under Daily Update | 1 Comment

The blog is on hiatus.

Take me off your feeds, delete your bookmarks.

I just can’t seem to write anything worthwhile. Ever. Even when I have thoughts pounding the inside of my skull, wanting to be released, the words I write are complete shit.

I think, in a way, it sums up my current status in life. I am just unsure about everything. I meet people, they ask me to tell them more about myself. And I pause, and think, and say, “I don’t know.”

I’ve lost track of myself, my thoughts, my passions, my desires in life. Perhaps it’s all the current changes — moving, a new job, back to a long distance relationship, excited yet very nervous about the coming (and final) year of college. I’m just not sure of any of it, though. And that unsurity lends to some very unsure writing and some EXTREMELY unsure blog posting.

So I’m giving up, at least for now. I just don’t want to feel like I owe anyone anything, so I am just going to twitter when I feel like it, take pictures (if I ever feel like it), and maybe someday I will feel like blogging again.

Note: I’m probably full of bullshit, but don’t expect regular posts anytime soon. I’m not completely falling off the earth, just partially.

Also, I am going to fix my laptop soon. I think that will help — I seem to blog a lot better sitting somewhere on campus or at Starbucks or something. The iMac isn’t really good for portability.

I’m out. (Oh. I’m driving to South Carolina to visit my brother today, by the way. I forgot to mention that. Okay, for real. Bye.)


A Million Little Posts

Posted on August 5, 2007
Filed Under Daily Update | 2 Comments

I’m having one of those nights where you sit at the computer doing absolutely nothing for hours on end. In case you don’t know what I mean, it goes something like this:

Click Facebook. No updates. Click some random not-really-friend’s latest photo additions. Look at strangers for a while. Click Myspace. No updates. Click Flickr, since Myspace isn’t really easy to waste time on. No new comments there, either. Look at more pictures of more random strangers. Click my blog, no new comments, and surely no new activity. Click Facebook. Still no updates. Repeat, repeat, repeat.

It’s a sick cycle. I blame Firefox’s bookmarks toolbar. Without that, I wouldn’t have anything to click. Though, I did get rid of the links once… and it did nothing, as I simply typed the addresses 95 times over.

Anyway, as you are aware, I’ve been avoiding, once again. Well, I lie. Not avoiding. Just.. blah! Readers tell me not to blog about not blogging (there’s a tongue twister), yet every time I sit down, those are the ONLY words that come to mind. So I close the window. Poof. No post, instead.

But I’m trying, here. The first topic that comes to mind is my dread of the coming week.

I’m going back to Gainesville tomorrow, to pack and clean my old apartment and prepare to move to the new one. I haven’t been there all summer, and I’m going back 2 days before I have to be completely cleared out. Then I have a day between when I move out and when I can move into the new complex… and guess who hasn’t figured out what they’re doing for that time?

You guessed it. My dad is coming up with some furniture; what, I’m not sure. I really have no idea what’s going on at all. I haven’t had the energy or time (or motivation) to figure stuff out, so I’m completely winging it instead.
So I have two days to clean and pack, one day to get out of my current place, one day to move in, and then it’s right back to Jacksonville where I have to immediately work a double, again on Friday, and another double on Saturday. Oh. Joy.

That’s my life, currently. In other news:

I’m scared of living in this (Chad’s) neighborhood. Two girls at work got robbed at gunpoint, one of whom got their car stolen, mere blocks away. The police say it’s an out-of-town gang of some sort. Regardless, it’s damn disconcerting.

I need inspiration. I haven’t felt like taking pictures and I haven’t really been designing anything (I was doing better there, for a while). To pose a question: What does one do for inspiration? I need a fresh stock of ideas.

Chad and I are… good. We’re to that point where even when we annoy each other endlessly, we accept it. It’s weird. Love is strange like that.

I met someone new last week (don’t gasp.. it’s just a friend). It’s been nice getting to know someone in Jacksonville outside of Chad’s circle of friends. I am finally starting to socialize on my own. Finally. I wish it didn’t take me 4 times longer than the average person.

I bought the sequel to Jame Fray’s A Million Little Pieces. It was only $6 and I enjoyed the first one, fiction and scandal aside. But first, I’m finally starting the fifth Potter book since I’m so dreadfully behind the rest of the free world.

I guess that’s all I have to update tonight. Happy August.. I can’t believe the summer is almost over. It’s just been one of those insanely busy, insanely-long-yet-incredibly-fast summers. Funny how that happens; In one respect I feel like it was just May. Three months at my internship?! Insane. Feels more like three weeks. But only three months since I’ve seen my friends? Seems like three years.

I’m out.. let the doomsweek commence! Wish me luck.

— keep looking »